Safety First
by Misty Rius
Summary: Welcome to Street Smarts 101! Knuckles and Tails are here to show you the ins and outs of being safe in the street! We're all so happy, that everything here ends in a exclamation point! Approved by the Fake Board of Education! For TheMoonstar9's Contest!


Knuckles sighed.

It was a _boring_ day, he was stuck outside on a Station Square street corner doing a _boring_ task, and for the most _boring_ member of his team.

"Tails, are you ready yet?" He asked with irritation, leaning against the tripod that the camera he was supposed to be running occupied.

"Yeah! In fact, I've been ready for...oh, wait!" Miles Prower, better known as 'Tails,' kicked a few cue cards over to the echidna. "Okay, now I'm ready. Not that I'm expecting that I'd need to be reminded of my lines, but if I look confused or stall, just-"

"And in 3-2-1 _action!_" The older boy interrupted the kitsune, switching on the camera.

Tails sweatdropped, but didn't allow the abrupt start to hinder him.

"Hello, and welcome to Traffic Safety 101. My name is Tails, and-"

At that point, Knuckles stepped in front of the camera and lightly nudged his compatriot out of the way. "-I'm Knuckles the Echidna."

Just off-camera Tails appeared confused, the look on his face clearly reading, _"What are you doing?"_

Without missing a beat, the echidna finished the intro. "Today, we're going to show you how _not _to die when maneuvering the streets."

He strode over, shut off the camera, and simply stated, "I think that's a keeper."

"No! We're doing that again!" The fox cried. "Why would you do that?"

"It was boring." The guardian replied nonchalantly, shrugging as he ran the footage by on a screen attached to the side of the camera. "Besides, it looks good to me." Once this was done, he glanced up at his irritated-looking comrade. "Oh, c'mon. You act as if I'm gonna ruin it. I promise, I'll stick exactly to what you say."

"...Promise?" The kit inquired seriously.

Knuckles put the camera back on the tripod, rested his right hand on it, and raised his left hand as if taking oath. "Yes, I promise."

Tails could have sworn that for a split second there was a mischievous smirk on his teammate's face, but he reluctantly shrugged it off as a trick of the light.

**ONE: CROSSING THE STREET**

"Okay, now, the most basic thing to remember about being safe in traffic is what to do when crossing the street." Tails stated, staring directly at the camera with that fake smile that all of those '101' movie makers wear on their faces. "The best thing to remember is to stop, look both ways, and listen for cars."

The camera remained facing toward Tails, who looked both ways and crossed the street safely.

Just before the fox boy reached the curb, however, the echidna directed the lens back at himself. "That's what a safe person looks like," he stated, pulling a shopping carriage from just off-camera.

"Knuckles?" Tails asked, knowing that this wasn't in the plan. "Where did you _get_ that?"

He went ignored, however, as the guardian continued over him. "However, if you _don't _remember to look, _this_ will happen."

At that, he shoved the cart into the road and, as if on cue, a truck slammed into it at high speeds, crushing it on impact. Knuckles caught the handlebar of the pushcart and tutted at the camera, shaking his head.

"It should've been more careful. Remember this next time you cross the street, kids." He held the disembodied bar two inches from the lens. _"Remember it!"_

**TWO: PARKING LOTS**

"Well," Tails instructed while standing outside a local supermarket next to a parking lot. "The next thing to know about street safety is how to maneuver a parking lot."

The fox boy gestured to the lot next to him. "The first thing to remember is that a parking lot is just as dangerous as a street, and that just because cars are parking doesn't mean that they'll always stop for you."

"If anything, that makes it more dangerous." Came a voice from off-camera as something seemed to hit the lens from the side that caused it to turn. When it stopped, the view was now being held by none other than Knuckles, standing on an island across the road from where his compatriot was standing.

He caught a boomerang in his hand and faced the camera with a serious expression. "In fact, it's probably _more_ dangerous, because if you're not careful, _this_ could happen."

With this statement, the echidna pulled a watermelon out of nowhere, dropped it into the parking spot behind him, and dashed away. Again, with uncanny timing, a car came in, going fast enough to crush the fruit and send seeds and other melon innards everywhere.

Tails stared at the splatter that reached halfway across the road toward him. He looked back at his comrade, shock clearly registering on his freatures.

"Wh-where...?" He stammered.

Before the kitsune could get any more out, however, the car backed out over the melon and left, giving way to yet another car that pulled in and backed out over it.

Knuckles came back on screen, shaking his head at the lens. "You see? That's the _wrong_ way to be safe." He glanced down at the food item and picked up a piece of discarded rind, glancing distastefully at it before continuing to face the camera and shake his head.

**THREE: SIDEWALK SAFETY**

A tired-looking Tails stood in front of the camera, his fake smile significantly wearier.

"To end off our lesson for today," he stated in a tone of voice that wouldn't give away his outer appearance. "We're going to talk about the closest thing you can come to a street: the sidewalk."

He glanced at Knuckles, who wordlessly pointed the camera down at the pavement below the fox's feet.

"Now the thing about sidewalks," the kitsune continued, "Is that people get the misconception that as long as they're on here, they're safe. That, however, is not the case."

Knuckles grabbed the camera, evidently ready to perform some sort of move of sabotage that would 'make the lesson more exciting.' However, he was halted by Tails hitting the pause button.

"Hey, what are you-"

"_I'd_ like to have the lesson this time, thanks." Came the reply.

"O...kay...?" For a moment, the echidna could have sworn that his comrade was wearing an evil smirk, but he casually shrugged it off as a trick of the light.

What a mistake.

"Now then," Tails started, hitting the play button once more as he looked a bit more gleefully at the camera. "People think that the sidewalk is the safe haven, but there are a _lot_ of dangerous things that could happen. For example: a rogue watermelon."

Off-screen, Knuckles shot a confused look at his teammate, barely able to react fast enough to jump over the watermelon that came flying down at him at a speed he never would've expected out of a throw from the kid.

"Tails, what-"

"You should also be careful of random shopping carriages flying down the street at you!"

The echidna wasn't sure whether to be concerned, entertained, or annoyed by the snapping of his comrade. Perhaps a mixture of all three?

Either way, he was struck by a shopping cart, only travelling about a foot before the poor carriage was subjected to being busted apart by the guardian's powerful strikes. A wheel hit the recording device, sending it facing off into an entirely different direction than where the hosts were.

Knuckles strolled over to the camera, faced it toward himself, and stuck his hand out as disgruntled fox boy attempted to push him out from in front of the lens.

"You see kids, you should also be careful of_ people_ on the sidewalk." He stated, plastering on a perfect (yet to him painful) '101' smile. "You may just end up like poor Miles."

In one motion, the guardian put down his hand and took a step backwards so that his- ahem, _assistant-_ had a place to careen forward. Indeed, the momentum sent Tails forward off-screen. "We hope you learned some valuable lessons about street safety today. I'm Knuckles the Echidna."

Tails stepped back in view next to his compatriot with a barely-convincing smile. "And I'm Tails. So long, and always remember to be safe!"

**/*|*\**

"We _love_ it!" The man in the business suit working for the Education Committee cried. "It shows the consequences of not being safe _and_ it's interesting."

"You...you _liked_ that?" Tails exclaimed in disbelief.

"Of course!" Another man in a suit replied, "We were worried that you were going to send something boring, but _this_..."

"Hmph." Knuckles uttered, smirking. "See? There's a method to my madness, Mr. I'm-So-Much-Smarter-Than-You. I did exactly what you said...and then some."

For a moment, the kitsune was speechless, casting a silence throughout the room. "What? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I knew you would've made it boring again." Came the reply, its giver shrugging.

"Well anywho," Suit Man #1 started, putting the tape in his jacket...somehow...

"We'll be sending this to the committee heads. We're sure they'll love it." Suit Man #2 continued.

They set off, about to leave the room before the first business man appeared to remember something. "Oh, and by the way," he turned toward the duo. "You wouldn't mind doing a video on _Stranger Danger,_ would you?"

"Sure, Sir. We'd _love_ to." Knuckles replied, putting on a third and final '101' smile.

"...Oh no..." was all that Tails could reply.

* * *

**Authors' Note:**** Yes, Authors' is written like that on purpose. This was also based on a verbal skit that my sister and I made. It wasn't until the contest started that I decided to make it into a one-shot, though. I'm probably cutting it real close posting it on the deadline, too. ^^;**

**TheMoonstar9 and others: I hope you got a good laugh out of this!**

**Disclaimer I: Neither my sister nor I own Sonic the Hedgehog. If we did...well, you _probably_ wouldn't want to play it because of all the..._things_...**

**Disclaimer II: We do, however, own the idea and any stupidity that radiates from the story.**

**Well, until next time: STUP FLAMMIN MEH YA PREPZ!11**

**~Misty**


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